|Fazbear & Friends|
Written and animated by
Based on the game by:
April 17, 2015
Freddy Fazbear and his friends try to make new friends with the night guard, but things soon get out of hand.
(The scene starts on a rainy night outside Freddy's Fazbear's Pizza. The scene then changes to the inside of the pizzeria on the show stage as Cica serves pizza)
Chica: Hope y'all are hungry, cause' dinner is served!
Foxy: Oh, great. Pizza again.
(makes a bored look on his face)
Freddy: Bonnie, why are y'all tryin' to beautify yourself?
Bonnie: I've gots to worry about my presentation now that I'm a *chuckles* famous celebutante.
Freddy: Now what in the hay are you on about?
Bonnie: (points at a security camera) Look, we're on TV!
(The security camera looks around the pizzeria.)
Freddy: D'oh, you silly rabbit, we're not on television. That's a security camera.
Chica: But that does mean someone's watching us, right?
Freddy: Well, I suppose it does, Chica.
Bonnie: Well, do you think they might wanna be friends, Freddy?!
Freddy: Well, shoot, Fazbear and his crew are always up for making new friends!
Foxy: New friends? Ugh, pass. [makes the same bored face again]
Freddy: Let's see if we can find this mysterious "Security Cam Sam" and give him a welcome as warm as a big ol' furry bear hug.
(Freddy jumps on to Bonnie's shoulders and Bonnie gives him a piggy-back ride, and Chica follows. Foxy just stays in his chair.)
Foxy: (flips his eye patch down and closes his eyes) Ugh, wake me when it's over.
(Chica grabs Foxy by his eye patch with her finger, and pulls him with her. The scene then transitions into the "Freddy Fazbear's Pizza" sign, and cuts to the gang near the security room's door.)
Bonnie: I think there's some fashion of hairless ape in there, Freddy!
(Screen shows Mike in the office.)
Freddy: No, that there's called the man old top.
Chica: Do you think he likes pizza?
Freddy: Bon, why don't you try and get his attention?
(Bonnie taps on the window and Mike notices the tapping and freaks out when he sees Bonnie's robot face. Mike presses the door lock on his keyboard repeatadly)
Bonnie: Well shoot, Freddy. He doesn't look like he wants to be friends at all!
Freddy: Well, sir, I wont accept that for an answer.
(Chica tries to open the door but the door is locked)
Chica: I think he locked us out.
Foxy: Oh well, we tried. (laughs)
(Freddy grabs an axe and gets ready to swing it in the door)
Freddy: Never say never, Foxy!
(Freddy repeatedly hits the door with the axe after a few hits freddy puts his head through the hole in door)
Freddy: Excuse me, sir. Would y'all like some company in there?
Chica: (in the background) Ask him if he likes pizza.
(Freddy then pulls his head out of the hole, and opens the office door from the inside, confused as to see that Mike ran out of the office from the other side.)
Chica: Ah, dang he ran off. I guess he's fixing be all by his lonesome.
Freddy: Well, I'm fixing to add of my companion compendium. Foxy, Chica, you search the east hallway and the kitchen. Bonnie, you and me will take the dining area and the maintenance room. We'll find this man, and as the Lord as my witness, before this night is over, I will make a friend!
(The lightning flashes, then transitions to the next scene with Foxy and Chica searching down the east hall by the bathrooms)
Chica: Dang, this place is spooky at night. I sure could go for a piece of p-p-p-pizza right about now.
(Foxy then pins Chica to the wall)
Foxy: Really. 'Cause I was feeling kinda hungry for something else.
(Foxy tries to kiss Chica, but she stops him.)
Chica: Wait, I can't. You know my heart belongs to Freddy.
Foxy: Oh, please. That egotistical fur ball will never notice you the way I do.
(Foxy uses his hook to slide down Chica's cheek and Chica blushes then the two make out for a few seconds)
Chica: But Foxy, what if the man finds us?
Foxy: Come on, babe, he's probably halfway to Albuquerque by now. Now how's about you let ol' Foxy take a peek at those McNuggets.
(Foxy then loosens the back of Chica's bib and gets visualization of her boobs)
Foxy: (eyepatch flips up, surprised at Chica's exposure) Well, ahoy matey!
(Mike is walking down the east hallway, sneaking up behind Foxy and Chica while holding a shovel.)
Chica: Foxy, look out!!!
(Shows Foxy and Chica in animatronic form. Foxy emits the scream sound from FNAF 1, and Mike hits Foxy with the shovel, sending him flying to the other side of the hall)
Chica: Foxy! Are you okay!?
Foxy: My only regret... (electrocution sound) is not getting... (electrocution sound) to second base. (graons and passes out)
(We see Chica confronting Mike, with pizza covering her boobs.)
Chica: Mr. Man, I don't know why y'all would do this. But, no matter what happens, I always like to assume the best of folk. Why, I bet underneath that sour marmalade expression, you're just scared and confused. But y'all don't have anything to be afraid of. I'm gonna hug you until y'all understand that with I want is for us to be friends.
(We see Chica attempting to give Mike a hug, and ends up getting hit with the shovel as well. The scene then transitions to Freddy looking for Bonnie.)
Freddy: Bonnie? Bonnie!? D'oh, where did that dang rabbit get to!? Simmer down, Fazbear. You never fail to make a friend before, and you sure as tarnation ain't gonna start tonight. (Freddy gets a weird experssion on his face, followed by a quacking sound.) Well, that seems a tad queer. (Freddy hears distant moaning and notices an oil slick trail and animatronic parts, leading to Bonnie's severed head.) Oh, Bon!!! What'd they done to y'all ol' top?! Speak to me!!!
Bonnie: Sorry for fallin' apart on you, Freddy. (chuckles) Hey, I guess you could say, I'm gonna rest in peaces. (Tries to laugh, but ends up coughing) Oh dear god!!! (groans and passes out)
Freddy: Don't worry, Bon. I swear to you I'll find whoever did this, and I will make that person my friend!
(The lights in the pizzeria go out, scaring Freddy. A light in a local doorway comes on, revealing a silhouette of Mike with the shovel in his hand. Freddy drops Bonnie's head, and glares at Mike, with lightning flashing, breifly showing Freddy's animatronic form. His eyes and teeth start glowing while the music box version of "Toredor March" plays. Two cupcakes magically apper in Freddy's hands.)
Freddy: Prepare your backside for friendship, you shadowy, shovel-wielding, shameless, sick, sinister, son of a Siamese salamander.
(Mike and Freddy charge towards each other)
(The scene cuts to the outside of the pizzeria at morning.)
Freddy: So let me run through this one more time just so I can make sure I'm understandin' ya. You're saying I am not, a bipedal brown bear, blessed with human cognitive thought in speech. But rather, an animatronic puppet built by a Pizzeria chain and given unholy life by the restless spirit of a child murdered in the '80s?
Mike: Yeah, that's basically the long and short of it.
Freddy: I gotta tell ya I find that little hard to believe.
Mike: Check it out, dude.
(Holds up a mirror. Freddy then sees his animatronic form.)
Freddy: Oh, dang, I'm a fright! I look like old scratch himself clawed out of the depths of Haitis. I'm powerful sorry if I scared y'all.
Mike: No problem. I'm sorry I took all of your friends apart.
Freddy: Don't worry, I can put them back together.
Mike: So, what you gonna do now that you know the truth?
Freddy: Well, the way I figure, the only thing I've ever wanted to do in this world is entertain children. And if you ask me, finding out that I'm a robot built for the specific purpose of entertaining children doesn't change a thing. If anything, it gives me more assurance that most people ever get, that what I'm doing is worthwhile. And I have you to thank for that, Mike. Oh! I almost forgot, we gonna get you fitted up!
Mike: Fitted up?
(Freddy opens up the back room door and turns on the lights, revealing tons of CGI replicas of Freddy's head.
Freddy: It's Fazbear's pizza policy that all endoskeletons remain in costume at all times, as to not scare the kids. You're new here, so I know you didn't know but we're gonna have to get you in one ASAP.
Mike: (grabs a CGI Freddy head for close examination) Freddy, you know I'm not a endoskeleton, right?
Freddy: D'oh, you can't lie to me I know one endoskeleton when I see one. I'm sorry, Mike. It's just policy.
(Freddy enters the room and closes the door as the camera slowly backs away from the door, then the screen goes black for a few seconds, leading to the outro)
- Max Gilardi - Freddy Fazbear and Foxy
- Jon Etheridge - Bonnie
- Monica Franco - Chica
- Nate Panning - Mike
- This is the fourth video game parody. The first is SONIC: Too Fast, the second is Luigi's Day Out and the third is BUTTFACE McFARTSALOT.
- There is a clean version uploaded by a user named BronyGuardian, in which he decided to remove inappropriate stuff and cursing.
- Freddy Fazbear's Pizza is similar to Chuck E. Cheese's.
- The music that was playing when Freddy swings the axe at the door is The Annoying Orange death music. The scene itself is also a reference to the famous "Here's Johnny" scene from the film "The shining".